Today would’ve been Ben’s birthday. He was scheduled as a c section on July 11, 2016. He’d be 6. When the doctor gave me the date I remember thinking “ooh that’s some kind of lucky Vegas numbers…” Honestly to this day I don’t know if that’s correct but regardless, it wasn’t so lucky for us.
Each year on this day I take a few moments to wonder what Ben would be like. Would he be funny and happy-go-lucky like his big brother? Would he be serious and introverted? Shy? Adventurous? Feisty like his baby sis? What birthday party theme would he have wanted? How would his features have changed from the year before?
This day isn’t quite as impactful as 3/25, the day we lost him; and I honor it much more quietly; but each year I’m still compelled to sit with my heartache for just a few moments. I need to feel it and to remember what should have been for my youngest baby boy.
Ben Ben, momma loves you forever and will make sure your memory lives on even after I’m holding you in heaven.
The Reinvented Mom 